October Babe Musings (Setting A Place for the Unexpected Guest)

It’s been a while, yes. I just couldn’t bring myself to sit down and write something in spite of a few notions and bits of sentiments that have been hovering on my mind. Blog reading has eaten into a good deal of my time here instead. But at least, *voila!* I managed to put up a new page enumerating some nuggets of info about yours truly titled “Pocket Facts Tangential to my Existence.” It’s been fun doing it and I hope to add more items to the list as time goes by.

My desire to elevate my proficiency and keep my edges sharp remains strong. I’m actually trying to brush up on my [non-existent] punctuation skill these days. Why haven’t I taken care of that before? But you know, this thing with grammar and vocabulary and idioms is already an interminable struggle for me. How else could I manage to squeeze in punctuation? Oh sometimes I wish I were an English major. (See, I’m even trying to come up with an excuse now. :-))

A lot has taken place this month. My maternal grandmother passed away at the ripe old age of 92. A first death in the family. It had been unexpected, to me at least, as I’ve always thought my mom’s blood relatives would all live up to become centenarians. Durable genes they’ve got I believe. Astonishing.

On another note, my cellphone – where I’d kept the majority of my back-up files: photos, music, and most importantly, tender messages from my son, close pals and uh, former “special” someones (yes I had treasured a few sweet tiny missives; being a sentimental *silly* fool that I am) – got snatched while I was on my way to a 7-11 store a month ago. Absorbed in texting my brother, I forgot I was passing by an unfamiliar territory, which made it so easy for a dyed-blond haired teen-age boy to grab my phone and then race across the busy highway. All I managed was a short shriek. As I was watching him gradually disappear from my sight, it got me thinking woefully of tons and tons of recorded memories that consequently vanished into thin air. Just like that.

A couple of weeks later, my computer suddenly went black and blank which, according to my son, meant it had manifested the “Blue Screen of Death”. Much like a kiss of death?!
Here’s the thing: As my main repository, my computer has got everything, as in all my files; with no more back-up after the cellphone loss. Which means I’ve totally no files left in my possession except for the very few ones I uploaded on FB.
Double->triple Ouch!
I know, I know, it could only be my fault. No need to give me that look.

Oh the-hell-well..

That leads me to my true subject for this post: One of the most compelling lessons I’ve learned in my magazine readings in recent years has been our willingness in life “to set a place for the unexpected guest.” Man, we better make sure not only the chairs are damn sturdy as this certain guest could bring something that either make you jump for joy or bring you down to your knees. And it got me thinking, how come unwelcome guests always outnumber the ones I am willing to greet with open arms? Nothing truly spectacular has happened in my life, so it should follow that nothing earth shattering should take place as well, right? Right?

No denying quite a few of the unexpected guests have brought me pretty swell gifts. Quite several in fact I’m so grateful for them. Come to think of it, would you gladly welcome someone holding a pin that might threaten your bubble? And who wouldn’t want uninterrupted calm in their lives?

When things start to overwhelm, there’s this tendency for me to either fall apart or turn away. Either mode, I have to go look for the light, even if I have to trudge or crawl. I will be letting the sharpest rays of the light pierce through my hand until I feel no more pain. With only a wound to show for it, I’ll begin the process of careful tending so that it may heal soon completely.

This is how I want to feel all the time. Do I envy her.

Even so, I do my best to be happy. I want to be happy. I’ll choose to be happy in spite of whatever circumstance I find myself in. How can I choose not to? Some people wonder if it’s possible. I’m not sure really. I am not hoping to turn myself into some kind of Pollyanna here. I never was in the first place. Though once in a while I’ve got to remind myself; if people who have much less than I do could genuinely be contented, who am I not to adopt the same disposition? Besides, I can really be happy in small ways.

There’s a considerable exception here. That of losing the people very dear to my heart, which reminds me of one dearest person: My father. Each visit to him is like a jolt of reality.. in clear attestation that I’m about to lose him soon. Very soon. I may be ready, or I may be not. Time will tell.

The world of blogging, through my passive participation by reading, is keeping me good company these days. Quite glad about that. It’s been an alternate dimension I can easily hop into at a mere click of a key. Since this blog should mean to serve as a residence for my memories, reflections, convictions, and whatnot, there’s this probability I might have been overthinking things and letting waves of sentimentality wash over me when I wrote this. But then, that’s what this site is here for. I’ve not much desire to come up with world-changing platforms or thundering essays to prove my writing or smarts facility. Neither do I wish to align myself with the consummate bloggers I kind of worship around here. I’m way way way too out of their league, yet. For all I know, even my current “supposed” moderate competence is purely mythical. Is that okay with me? Not really. Each and everyone of us longs to become better and better in our craft. Therefore, I am gunning for hope and effort combined.

More than anything else, I simply want to write my heart out – regardless of cohesion, manner, or my written dexterity in this blog of mine. To be able to merely jot down my every damn thought. Well, almost everything. That would be quite ideal.. for the meantime.

[By the way, how am I doing with my punctuation, hm?]

So, what do I do when the next unexpected guest comes and takes the seat right next to me? I could only hope he’s a very handsome male with lovely dark blue eyes that I’d thoughtfully recognize from out of time..  Boy, would I look straight into those eyes and tell him, “Oh please, do spare me.”

Glad my blog is still here for me, after all.

 

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8 thoughts on “October Babe Musings (Setting A Place for the Unexpected Guest)

  1. Hi! Welcome back. 🙂

    Apparently, both of us lost someone close to us. I have a friend who passed away this month too. How are you holding up? Just think that wherever she is now, she’s happy and she has lived a very long (even if 92 seemed to be early for your blood relatives in your mother’s side) and full life.

    And yes, it’s very difficult to lose files because I believe they’re more important than the gadget themselves. The gadgets can be easily replaced but the memories in those files, and the work you’ve exerted effort for in those files can’t be replaced and even if they can be, it would be difficult and would be different from the ones already lost.

    As for blogging, I’m glad that it has served well its purpose for you. Blogging is like therapy and a skill enhancer (btw, you’re doing well with your punctuations :D) as well as a means to escape from reality for awhile. It serves as an outlet for our innermost thoughts that just want to burst out. Good thing blogging was invented. 😀

    • I’m glad you’re back. Love your new gravatar photo by the way. You are so pretty!

      Thanks for your kind words about my losses, although I have to admit I’m not that close to my grandma. When she passed away, I was told people around her had already been expecting it. May she rest in total peace. I just read your post about your friend and I am moved by how his demise has affected you. Hope you’re feeling much better now.

      Yes, I wasn’t even crazy about that smartphone I lost. I’m really not into gadgets. It’s the photos, the messages, and my favorite songs (which took me a long time to gather) that I terribly miss.. -sigh-
      I’m grateful that you understand how I’ve felt.

      How I love this world of blogging. You’re right. It’s so fun, informative and an effective tool for escapism :-). He he.. you think I’m doing fine with my punctuation? Thank you.

      Your presence here is very much appreciated.

      • Really? I look pretty? *giggles* Thank you! There goes my head, getting bigger by the minute. Just kidding, haha. 😀

        Yes, we were all shaken when it happened. I’m feeling better now, at least he’s no longer in pain. What happened made me see things in a different perspective though and made me all the more eager to make the most out of my life because who knows how long I’ll live. I want my life to be lived to its fullest. 🙂

        I could almost feel your loss actually. I couldn’t even think what I’d do if something happens to my phone or laptop. :/ Is there really no way for you to at least retrieve your files in in your laptop? Maybe you could bring it to a computer shop and let them take a look at it.

        Yeppp! It’s so informative and the different ideas are just overflowing. It also feels like were traveling to different places and meeting new people. 🙂

        It’s always a pleasure visiting your blog and your presence in mine is greatly appreciated too. 🙂

  2. I’m sorry to hear about your losses, and I certainly hope your father fools you and lives for many more years. Meanwhile, keep reading andwriting, please. And I hope the unexpected guests are all welcome ones from now on.

    • Thank you for commiserating with me. Material stuff don’t matter much to me except if they hold some sentimental value. It’s the memories I had hoped to preserve I wanted to kick myself for losing.

  3. Hello Marj:

    Sorry about the loss of your grandmother. May she rest in peace wherever she might be. All deaths are really unexpected. We wish they would live forever, if that could be possible.

    If you want to keep hold of your information, I recommend that you store them in the Cloud. For example, all my photographs are stored in a Web site called Photobucket which I keep for $23.95 per year. If my hard disk goes sour, I know I can get back to my blogging activities with all my pictures intact. All my electronic books are stored in Amazon’s cloud, so I can’t lose them, no matter what. Google Docs is also an excellent site to keep your stuff.

    Coincidentally, today I wrote about Anna Frank, a German young girl who experienced happiness to the nth degree, even though she was a prisoner in a small attic in Nazi Germany. She wrote frequently about finding solace and happiness in Nature. I think you will enjoy reading this post. Happiness as you know is a state of mind. It’s really up to us to feel depressed or happy.

    Your English is remarkable and so is your punctuation. I really enjoyed your blog post. I encourage you to write more often. You have a loyal reader at this end.

    Enjoy the weekend.

    Omar.-

    • Omar dear, your comment is packed with a lot of highly useful information and heart-warming statements. I’m overjoyed as you have truly made my day.

      I wish I were as technologically smart as you. I’ll try to keep in mind all the file-saving devices you suggested to me so losing precious files won’t happen again . I’m very much grateful for your generosity in sharing your knowledge about such matters.

      Yes, Anne Frank is one remarkable young girl and a lot of people could benefit from the optimism she imparted in her famous diary. In fact, I’m going back to your site today to read that particular post once again and get another dose of inspiration.

      You believe I’m doing well with my English and uhm, punctuation? Oh I’m so happy to hear that. Thank you, Thank you.. I’ll do my best to write more often. And Omar, I am a faithful reader of your blog as well.

      Always appreciative of your gracious responses, Marj

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