My son has been gone for two weeks now to assert his complete independence – away from me – for the first time in his life. Fresh from his success last April, he must have felt he’s ready for the world. He’s 22, so yes, the world indeed owes him something good. No way should I stand in the way of his plans. You might wonder how I’ve been carrying on. Some tears have been shed…but not much. I knew, then, this time would come. The auguries had been showing since late last year. Things you wish would never happen always take you by surprise. In barely two years I have lost the two most important people in my life. But there’s barely space for one more grief.
It’s a good thing I feel comfortable with silence and solitude. It’s actually become a paradox. I also feel like this could be the best time of my life.
For some time, this blog has been hidden. Giving it a break. It has taken on too much — along with my mediocrity as a blogger, and a myriad of my other pains.
I still hold my job, which a few weeks ago was in danger of permanently slipping away from me. My bosses, to my relief, chose to hang on in spite of the financial challenges. A succor to my recent bruise.
So I’m good. I still feel grateful for whatever that’s left — along with the lack of external drama around me. No family members, relatives to hector me; only a few insignificant people in my “real” world to deal with. No one to cause me a morass of emotions.
I’m glad. It still is a simple life.
I really believe I’m alright.
(Taken from my journal on September 27, 2014)