Win or Lose, Trump Has My Love and Support

How refreshing to watch Trump’s popularity defy the belief held by many that intellectual elitism and political correctness are always superior to the wishes of the grass roots of America. I believe the current GOP frontrunner has the potential to bring to the table what the previous career politicians with “flawless speech and manners” weren’t able to in securing the welfare of the U.S. citizens. Besides, only Trump can crush Hillary, if she ends up as the Dem nominee. She should be indicted for her misdemeanors during her reign as Secretary of State, in the first place. It’s Bernie Sanders that Trump may find challenging to beat. I like Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio as well (for the principal reason that they aren’t bad-looking — yeah right, so sue me) plus I think Rand Paul and Ben Carson are cute — but, sorry, my heart is already owned by the billionaire. I fervently hope the Donald wins the Iowa caucus this February.

I have spent time on the comment threads of Yahoo U.S. news as I find the coming U.S. 2016 Presidential elections more exciting than ours (which will also be held this year). Many anonymously-named participants had been sharing their excellent views and humorous remarks on the candidates. For this post, I just have to immortalize the silliest, unforgettable ones (anti-Trump, though) that made me chuckle hard.

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The Coronation of King Trump I is now inevitable!

Simultaneously, Crown Prince Eric Trump and Crown Princess Ivanka Trump will be installed in the kingdom of Trump!

Long live Your Majesty, King Trump!

**

Jesus: turned water into wine
Reagan: turned ketchup into a vegetable
Trump: turned Reince Priebus into a puddle of tears

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Upon learning that Ben Carson challenged him to a WWE Cage Match, Donald “The Orangutan” Trump had this to say: “You think I’m afraid of “Stabby McHammer” Carson? Give me a break. Give me a break. He can try, he can try to put a Yale lock inside a stocking, and try to “slock” me with it, but I have a great mind. I’m Too Quick. I’m too quick. I’ll go this way, I’ll go that way, I’ll go the other way, he can’t, he can’t touch me. And I’ll catch him off guard, too. Carly Fiorina will be ringside, and if “Stabby” gets close to me, I’ll yell “Look at that face!!” and he’ll turn, he’ll turn and look, and “Medusa” Fiorina will turn Carson into stone!

**

People, listen to Trump! He is our savior! Besides preventing 9/11, he also would have: landed a man on the moon in 1943; faced down the devastating 2004 and 2011 Tsunami’s by blowing hot air at them; cured cancer; discovered how life began; found a way to make Mexico disappear; told Adam not to take a bite of Eve’s apple; discovered electricity before anyone else; freed the slaves before they got here; discovered America 2 years before Columbus and so many other things. Thank you God for creating Donald Trump. But why did you wait so long? 

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When we are attacked by tentacled Martian Invaders–let’s hope Trump is safely in Air Force One coordinating the ground assault forces. We can’t allow the tentacled Martians to be victorious. General Trump will lead us to victory. All we need now is some tentacled Martians to appear on the horizon before the election.

**

Bill and Hillary were driving home from her “road trip” when Hillary asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she said to Bill, “It’s nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?”
Bill says, “OK, get in the car with it.”
Hillary says, “Where shall I put it to get it warm?”
Bill says, “Put it between your legs. It’s nice and warm there.”
“But what about the smell?” asked Hillary.
Bill says, “Just hold its little nose.”
Bill is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.

***********

presidential
Well, look at that: A line of the most debonair presidential hopefuls ever. I could marry anyone of them, you know. But count out Christie and Huckabee and Kasich, please. I’ve got my standards. 🙂

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