When I’m running out of ideas or I lack inspiration or have become unmotivated to write, the best thing for me to do is string out a few thoughts about my all-time favorite topics – love and men. I’ll pass on love because for the first time in a long while, my heart is unencumbered by anyone, mythical or real. (Uh, I might take that back because I still dream of Chris Mitchum and Val Kilmer in their younger days whenever it dawns on me “where have all the beautiful real men gone?”)
Men are fascinating. They brighten up my world. I won’t deny my penchant for good-looking, brawny, humorous, financially capable, slick intelligent breed whose masculine appeal could melt a massive glacier in the Arctic region. I get mesmerized by the sight of a man holding and puffing on a cigarette in a manly way; at the same time a man who drinks is definitely sexier than a man who doesn’t, imo. In contrast, overweight or skinny boring guys who are bereft of humor and machismo don’t interest me at all. To be concise, I like the type of men all women like. And that’s the problem.That explains why my romantic history is descriptive of tears and more tears, not to mention of severe heart desolation.
I wish there were young female readers who somehow follow my blog as I could share to them lessons I had learned down the hard road about love and men. I’d initially tell them to buy and read and soak up the best book on male-female relationships penned by a guy named Greg Behrendt titled “He’s Not That Into You” which, alas, should’ve come out in my twenties but was published and handed to me more than a decade late. Many, especially the men, however, have warned against adherence to relationship advice as they do nothing but double the number of single women in their thirties and forties.
I don’t know. What I do know now is that I’d rather be alone than be with someone who’d keep hammering my head with crap other women would be willing to take to escape loneliness. To this day, at my age, men here would still tell me I’m beautiful (even though I’m not) and that I shouldn’t be on my own.Well, most of them are either married or are way younger. And I ain’t stupid. I mean, what would they want from someone like me when the current ratio of female to male is almost 4:1. I surely am not willing to give away what li’l money I have (to the younger guys) or spend a brief sexual period with them (to the unavailable ones). That’ll spell a lot of trouble. My father had told me once, “You’re the kind of girl who knows what’s good for herself.” He wouldn’t have said that if it had been an empty truth.
As young ladies, we find validation through amorous connections even if we relinquish our souls during the course. The regret and realization on how we misspent our precious time and emotions on such dorks come much much later.
A female co-blogger had wailed to me, “It’s easy for you to say ‘be cautious’ because you’ve already been through it all. But I’ve never been loved and I would want to undergo the whole episode, good or bad, even for a short time.” To that I found myself unable to respond. She has a point.
But I hope that, unlike me, these girls don’t have hearts that bleed easily. I also hope they’d still manage and end up exercising good judgment when choosing the one they’d devote their mind and essence to. In today’s world, men simply have gotten so spoiled — while I’ve seen countless women cry buckets because they couldn’t get the love and fidelity they think they deserve from their mates. I’ve encountered numerous men who’ve had the ongoing habit of dropping smoochy fuzzy murky lines – as if viewing and expecting all women were lamebrained to interpret them only foolishly. As well as men who’d give so little and envisage the ladies to do the rest of the work at the beginning or in the middle of the relationship.
To young gals out there: We women have experienced how to be fervently and truly loved at least once in our lives. So if the dude just doesn’t make you feel special or doesn’t deem you a most valuable gift from the universe, be at your sensible best. Realize it’s never there in the first place. And you must have the good sense not to waste your time so you’d be able to move on.The sea remains teeming with good fish. Hopefully.
I have a very small circle. The moment I feel like someone is using me or is in it for the wrong reasons, I have zero guilt about just cutting them the f*ck out of my life. My bullshit detector is that phenomenal.