My friend, do you remember that genial sunny afternoon when you revealed a precious segment of your history in spite of the half a world distance that separates you from me? Such deed on your end bestowed the pleasant conception of having gained your trust and the seal our more than three years of camaraderie coveted. Yet soon after, an inexplicable disconnect took place which in its aftermath made me think it could be irreversible this time.
My goal nonetheless to push through on resurrecting my love for writing was strong it led me to rejuvenate a friendship with one of my oldest facebook pals. It brought me to ask this friend directly if he could be my reader. And he said yes. A couple of days after, he professed his affection with the desire to become more than just my reader. Seeing nothing wrong as both of us are single, I granted his request.
Let’s call him C. C is far from my typical dream guy because all my life, I’ve gone for the muscled and physically-fit type. His cerebral mind and erudite diction, however, were impressive enough to overlook the physical demerits.
I prefer strong men — he was an ex-soldier and deputy who projected toughness and robustness. Having said that, he could casually wield sweetness from his core. Most importantly, upon giving my condition of us never to engage in online sex talk, he unequivocally complied.
We’re of the same age. We share the same appetite to stretch life into wide yonder — plus an unceasing endeavor to shape this world to a luscious orb. His passion for riding motorbikes has turned as more than a mild interest for me; to become a free-spirited female biker was one of my unrealized dreams.
Morning and evening of texting and chatting; that amount of attention and sharing (frivolous matters, our innermost thoughts, his past) between us two felt favorable…and for the first time in a long while, someone was with me day in and day out.
In spite of his ideal stature, he’s been out of shape — and he’s got diabetes, one of his few medical ailments. Hardly the quintessential dude that I could look up to and be proud of. Still, a gradual realization occurred: There will come a point in our lives when we embrace something not based on our long-held standards, but instead, based purely on a decision. I simply made the decision to love him.
To accept him for everything that he is even though he cannot meet certain benchmarks I have long fostered.
His declaration on his fb page we are a couple incipiently provided me the drift of acknowledgment and felicity I’ve since missed, in view of his extensive social circle. Things felt good for the time being.
Until reality began to set in.
(to be continued)