An Online Love Story – part 2

Additional issues spewed one by one between C and I apart from the basic adversity of our long-distance love affair: An “ex-gf now bestfriend” he still runs errands for and goes out for taco dinner at least twice a month and only god knows what else; his highly active social interaction with other “gal pals”; his imperative for pretty much everything to stay the same as before when it invokes his liberty.

“There’s something about internet friendships that lack depth and meaning, they are relationships bound by barriers. Don’t you agree?”

Your exact words to me, my friend, in our correspondence of late.

You were essentially right. Still, I chose to remain engrossed staying inside my bubble, dismissing what it might cost me in the end.

C had laid plans as to my joining him permanently in his Kansas home very soon. Cognizant of sweet-talking manners embedded in his nature, I was nonchalant; albeit kindling the possibility he could shelter real deep feelings for me. Both of us had pledged true love for each other during the early days of our ardent affinity, in aspiration for whatever grandeur it might spring.

But instead, at each passing day, the gnawing sense we had made a mistake of inserting “romance” to our once-plain friendship kept growing — to the point I started contemplating how I could extricate myself from this bogus liaison without much jumble, considering his temperament (chiefly brought about by his not so healthy condition).

Maybe I should just get a bigger life. Let him have his fun while allowing my name to remain in his relationship status. Maybe I should ignore moments when I felt empty in the course of our web exchanges. Maybe I should just ride out the intricacies of this online union — despite the unhappiness that has kept mounting.

Then came the breaking point: Accidentally learning another recent new errand he had to run for his ex-gf turned bestfriend. I couldn’t take it anymore. Being half a world away from the man who texts loving words day and night and calls me his girlfriend — as the woman he said he’d wished for all his life… who, in actuality, is a woman clueless on proceedings personally transpiring behind her back.

I was right. The impending breakup wouldn’t be less than turbulent. I wanted the friendship to stay on, yet words hurled were painful.

-(to be concluded)-


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