Mourning

I’m at my lowest point right now. The pain of recently losing a loved one permanently, in parallel to my experience when I lost my parents, has completely thrown me off — surprisingly weighing heavier than I had thought because I’m having a very difficult time accepting I won’t see my vibrant baby brother nor hear his voice ever and laugh hard at his never-ending jokes again.

A month nary has passed since I lost him. The deep wound punctured by his departure may never heal. But I know I’ll get by and I am determined to spring towards the finish line, no matter how.

I’m doing my very best to manage this toughest period of my life by working out, eating low-fat meals, reading, and writing. I feel jaded for now by social media trifles and seek more online mind challenges as part of my coping strategy.

Never had I thought losing Cliff would be this hard. I didn’t expect I’d feel this much grief and sadness.

Yesterday was his 55th birthday. Happy Birthday, dear brother. I love you and miss you so much.