Just more than a year ago, I was thinking I’m having the best time of my life. It’s not perfect but things feel alright. There’s the future I look forward to — because I’m healthy, I feel young and I’m free. Everything seems fine. I thought it would go on forever.
But now, I don’t think happiness will come to rest on my palm again. Heartbreak and sadness out of my recent losses have simply taken over.
“Choose life, Carry on no matter what, Hold on tighter to the Lord”.
I keep these advice on mind.
But there are times I don’t know what to feel anymore. I don’t even know how to view sorrow — if there really is the right way to handle it. And I’m not sure I would want to forget or let go of this heavy heart, too. Sounds strange, I know. It’s like I now possess a clearer understanding why some people get attached to loneliness and quiet despair. It’s like the choice of holding on to all that’s been precious feels more right or somehow better. It’s so hard to put into words. But now I’m beginning to get it.