I’m feeling tired, tired, tired. I’ve been very busy for the past three weeks, as in crazy busy I’ve had a hard time keeping up with stuff like cleaning my tiny house and doing laundry. Last June my lessor shocked me with the information they were closing down by July — which meant I had to stop my operations too and look for a new site for my booth. Then I had to seek my brother’s help for the whole construction and at the same time deal with all the red tape from this government agency my work is connected to and that’s the bullshit part of them all: dealing with people from that abominable agency.
Miraculously, I’ve been able to survive this particular ordeal. The entire time I was thinking “I can do it through one baby step at a time. Yes, just take a simple baby step this moment, then another…. and then another…” Aaargh. That’s the only way to get through difficult periods — especially at work. The go-signal from the agency is all I’ve been waiting for these days to get me starting again.
Okay, so I also miss mr. poet cum librarian. And I miss writing cheesy corny poetry. Yet I’m also relieved we aren’t in touch anymore. Because we just kept struggling on each other’s terms. I don’t have enough time right now agonizing over things like that. The booth transfer has already taken so much of my energy, my schedule, my finances. This time I want to mainly focus on stabilizing once more my source of income. Because I intend to save again so I’ll be able to go back somewhere in Europe for the last time — which, I believe, has always been my ultimate dream. Traveling to that continent. An escape to a more beautiful world. The most beautiful of all worlds.