of men, bots, and relationships

My FB “pals” recently had an amusing discussion on sexbots and I found this comment from brad torgersen a thrilling possibility.
“Sex droids may well doom the human species, beyond religious and/or Luddite communities who see it as a duty to continue to procreate for procreation’s sake. Forget the female droids. When convincing male droids arrive, it’s over. Women will pay top dollar for a robo-boyfriend who never goes out late with the guys, never gets drunk, never smokes or has other bad or annoying habits, never has bad hygiene, is sculpted physically in exactly the way any woman wants (especially “down there”) and—this is the most important part—never prematurely ejaculates, is always as big and as hard as the woman needs, for as long as she needs it, and the droid can be programmed to “sex talk” her in her favorite actor’s voice. Hell, the droid can look exactly *like* her favorite actor, if she wants. Actors could handsomely *retire* on licensing their voices and imagery, simply for this purpose.”
Me (in my room while reading): Hah!
A friend named Holly had this response to brad: If I could get all that and never have to deal with a human male again as far as a personal relationship goes, count me in. I never got all that from any man, it does’t exist. Only deceit, dishonesty and selfishness.
This is from a formerly long-term married woman who is the most loyal, trustworthy, honest person you could meet. I won’t give any man the chance to kick me in the teeth again.
It seems a lot of women are as jaded as I am when it comes to relationships with men. Honestly, in my vision, they’ve come to all look alike not to mention they all behave pretty much the same way.
A very young lady who has started working for me is seeing a lesbian and it makes me wonder if dating a gal isn’t as stressful as dating a dude or won’t end up as shitty. The idea of romancing another woman, however, sounds bland and is so uninspiring to me as I’m every inch straight — no matter how I’ve been told repeatedly lesbians do it best when it comes to “that.”
On a serious note, I’d pondered how my life has been so peaceful since I’ve lost interest to be part of a couple. Barely a month ago a younger man who was probably one of my customers — his face was familiar —  tried to make small talk while I was waiting for a jeepney on my way home. A brief smile and nod were all I’d be willing to spare as a comeback. Another time someone would smile at me on a train; I awkwardly smiled back so he wouldn’t feel he got snubbed then I hurriedly looked away. Also, a few had made an effort to befriend me online and establish some chat interaction yet I’d somehow find a reason to completely cut off ties soon enough.
Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy dealing with men and I can find pleasure by being plain friendly to them although I take extra care these days to avoid misinterpretation. And I do still enjoy watching and reading feel-good romance stuff — yeah, even at my age, don’t laugh.
But my reality makes it clear I’m not suited for whatever it is I might be missing. Just like I’m not the kind who’s wired to experience lasting felicity just by being the other half of a twosome. No need to remind anyone of my deeds and decisions in the past on matters of the heart which are something I’m not proud of. That it’s more likely my low self-esteem caused all that is a harrowing truth. What’s the point going through all that again?
Somebody had asked, “Isn’t it lonely?” Frankly, I don’t know…or maybe, I can’t tell anymore. But the answer most probably is “Not at all.” A hard-core introvert that I am, solitude has never been an issue; sorrows, troubles out of love alliances and despair from romantic attachment were.
But hold it, I’m definitely counting on that robo-boyfriend my FB pals are talking about. Surely it’ll come out very soon. Make it very very soon. 🙂
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Otto Wambier’s Tragic Case Broke My Heart

Image result for images of a younger Otto Warmbier

Quite so. The boy was only 22 years old; three years younger than my son. Otto didn’t deserve the kind of fate that was handed to him. I can only imagine how terrified he must have felt last year during the process and his trial and the days that followed after receiving his sentence. The most vile, trashy news site which is Yahoo.com published heartless reader comments that even blamed this poor young man for his choice to go to North Korea and committing the mistake of taking down a banner to take home as souvenir. Many Liberals expressed similar thoughts while displaying their appalling demeanour toward the issue. How low could these people get.

I have very little compassion for the K citizens, whether they belong to the North or the South. I know their real nature as I’ve dealt with these type of beings for 10 long years. What little respect I’d previously held for the Obama administration, due to its inaction, completely dissipated as well.

My deep condolences to Otto Wambier and his family. My heart feels heavy every time I think about this unnecessary tragedy.

Final pictures show laughing Otto Warmbier days before arrest in North Korea

Beige Reality

Half a world away from them all. With such location functioning as my shelter, my ordinary existence — through an ether that unites inhabitants across freeways — is suited to join the rising sun for everyone to see. Yet there’s no distance the mind and soul cannot reach. What can they perceive that’s beyond my outline of intended exposure? How do they sometimes just magically gain the key to the secret doors of my inner traits and psyche?

There remains a mission in me to search for any flash that could prompt a few thoughts, a series of lines, even a single one; steadily waiting for that jet of blue flame that might yield a sensitive, sound pretty script for these pages.

Any analysis, however, by Facebook or Twitter or Tumbler of my being would be futile. I am old now. What purpose could it probably serve? I simply hanker for peace, ease, and a li’l writing piece. I hope that’s not too much to ask.

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RECENT FB POST: I was at my happiest in that land, where I felt I truly belong — in the sense everything about the place could foster my identity, spirit and the many fancies within my heart .

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A frustrated guitar player that I’d been, I was relentless about my son continuing his guitar and piano lessons (he’s naturally talented) because — one of the primary reasons — I couldn’t get enough of the mainly guitar music of the 70’s band Bread. I had wished for him to play this song for me one day — it didn’t happen 🙂 . Anyway the plucking, the lyrics and the melody render it as one of the most memorable.
I found a diary underneath a tree, and started reading about me.
The words she’d written took me by surprise.
You’d never read them in her eyes […]
Her meaning now as clear as sea…
The love she waited for was someone who’s not me.”

randomly out of touch

We keep missing the nighttrain that could transport us to a past

when the same unfeeling hearts

had repeatedly walked up that spiral of emptiness.

Backward in sentiment, undemonstrative no less

with each new region that has been formed

in comfort, in warmth, in mystery.

Now why should I fumble for certainty

at something you and I have no liberty to know.

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– geena April 2017

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Recent FB post: me and my boyfriend — a match made in the galaxy 😍. But there’s no way telling Mr. Starlord — or we’re finished. 🤣

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A once upon a time favorite from JLo:
I’m happy to say, in a lot of ways you changed me
Makes me smile/ when you said you were glad the day
you found me
I’m wishing away/ any harm that might ever find you
Heaven knows, I really feel I’ll always be your girl.

recently more active on facebook

but the posts are largely not for public audience. They’re viewed by a select few — mostly by strangers from the west who I could relate to more or less. I mean, aside from them, the bulk of my FB pals are, you know, peeps I have very little in common with. Get what I mean? 🙂

Most Recent FB post:

Far from the real thing, I know. But I’m pathetic  . Anything here that smacks of the splendid ambience of Europe fascinates me. And the mall’s stylish floorings and glistening water were delightful. Plus that was indeed the full moon up there. Anyone has probably come to discern the Big U had placed me in the wrong terrain — which (again) renders this type of post unfit for public spectacle. 😎

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At the Venice Grand Canal Mall, Taguig, Bonifacio Global City last weekend.

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“Josie’s on a vacation far away…” The opening lyric had captured my whim enough for it to earn a spot on my list of favorite songs.

I’ve been given this precious life

And I appreciate it still — to the fullest. I’m doing alright; what have I to complain about.

I was happiest in that land, where I felt I truly belong — in the sense everything about the place could foster my identity, spirit, and the many fancies within my heart.

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Getting out of bed can be a struggle at certain times I admit. (Btw, this isn’t my bedroom. it was in Clarion Hotel in Norway. What’s that thing below my eye? Drat. photo ek ek stuff)

Today is a special day for me. I’m simply glad to be alive.

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Traveling is the only goal left for me now. With very limited resources, well, gotta be picky the next (and most probably the last) time.

There is always something left to love.”
―from One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez

Prague will have to wait then

 

The original plan was for me to visit Czech Republic and three or four of its nearby countries this year but the travel agencies have been raising their prices and peso to dollar is on its way up, too. I should’ve shopped for an Eastern European promo tour like I did for my Norway trip. Why didn’t I… Drat…I really wanted to see Prague.

I guess I’ll have to wait until next year. Meanwhile, I’m on tenterhooks as to who will win the U.S. Presidential race. My heart will break badly if Trump loses but even the headlines here are anticipating a Clinton victory. Drat drat drat.

And, yeah, I should get busy writing again.

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