Women Kicking Men’s Asses, In The Movies That Is.

I chanced upon a humorous article once that states female soldiers should not join male soldiers in the battlefield as there’s a big possibility that during heavy action, a lady commando might accidentally mow down half of her comrades in the platoon because of her sudden strong emotions or wrong premature instincts. That got me really laughing and at the same time, I couldn’t have agreed more.

That brings me to tell you about the movie that’s slated to be shown here this week. Steven Soderbergh’s “Haywire” starring martial arts expert Gina Carano boasts of another electrifying tale of espionage and betrayal.  I’m sure it’s gonna be a highly entertaining film as it caters to gals like me who are suckers for female heroines that fearlessly engage men in duels or various kinds of all-out war. The female protagonist here looks a bit more believable as an action figure.  Strong, sharp and pretty slick. Looking at the stills of the movie though, she looks a little too tough and unfeminine for my taste. But that’s ok. I guess.

Kill Bill, Salt, Resident Evil, Matrix trilogy, Charlie’s Angels etc.. They all feature sexy, beautiful, smart ladies you couldn’t mess around with. I’m thrilled to watch these kinds of movies that have formidable women kicking men’s asses.

Imagine a female James Bond. Wow. Side by side with macho-looking hunks as her love interests that serve as decorations in the movie (He-he). I’d certainly love that. 

 “I am the deadliest woman on this planet.” said Beatrix Kiddo with that stony look in all her glory in Quentin Tarantino’s outstanding action-packed film “Kill Bill.” It’s the ultimate, most appealing line I wish I could deliver stoically to anyone without batting an eyelash. Or bursting into a subsequent chuckle.

By the way, is it women’s secret urge to do battle with and fantasize about victory in the end over the opposite sex? Can’t be sure.

One thing I must say though, majority of the movies of this genre had a hard time convincing me the ladies could single-handedly go to war against an all-men battalion. Uma Thurman as Beatrix Kiddo might be tough but she looked skinny and frail. Yet she was able to maim nearly a hundred samurais dressed in suits who by the way were all below her height and who moved hysterically with their swords like little mad men possessed by evil spirits. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m a fan of Quentin Tarantino and “Kill Bill” is truly one of my all-time favorite movies.

Lucy Liu’s graceful but nevertheless dangerous moves in her slam-bang movie with Antonio Banderas “Ballistic:Ecks vs Sever” had my complete attention. In the same vein that I watched in awe as Daryll Hannah’s malevolent Elle Driver character in “Kill Bill” do her thing with ice-cold lethal charm. I’m captivated by them all.

Evelyn Salt (played by the slender-figured Angelina Jolie) engaged in martial arts combating burly CIA agents successfully in the movie thriller with her surname as the title. Cool. But deep inside while watching, I was like “Yeah right..  Next thing we know, she’d be lifting an eight-wheeler truck with just one arm.”

Oh so entertaining but oftentimes fantastically unbelievable. Head scratching time for me indeed.

I remember my father making these sweeping remarks, “Women can never be physically stronger than men. These are just silly movies..” And how I believed him. He had always been cynical about it all albeit one of his favorite TV series then was Angie Dickinson’s “Policewoman.” Well..

Be that as it may, let me tell you that in my fantasy world, I am the swash-buckling Milla Jovovich in the movie “The Three Musketeers.” Head strong, driven, indomitable, conniving, calculating, you name it, and incredibly beautiful. So..

Get out of my way, baby..