Discipline is the key indeed to a finer life.
I wasn’t the dynamic type who could perform mounds of tasks or accomplish half-a-dozen set of goals in short durations. Being a night owl has made things more challenging, especially in the morning as I normally have to drag myself out of bed to start my day.
I’m a little lazy, I guess. But one thing I’m not, for sure, is being an undisciplined person. If I were, I wouldn’t have saved enough funds to go visit Europe three times. I have better money sense than most people: My earnings are quite minimal; I can, however, control my spending.
I love food and drinks and am not at all picky. My sweet tooth (for chocolates, in particular) requires tons of self-restraint. Yet I’ve never been obese. My siblings (not to mention my late mom) have had to deal with weight and health problems because they could neither discipline themselves to eat more healthily nor do exercise.
My brother was the typical guy who had let his d*ck shape his destiny. Now he’s trapped with a young female partner and a four-year-old daughter — at the age of 52. At a time when he should be enjoying his life. His financial standing is shaky, he doesn’t appear happy (I can tell by the things that come out of his mouth during our conversations) and he resents me for the freedom I enjoy.
I told my sister, “He thinks I’ve had it easy? Why, did I have anything to do with his womanizing and all the poor decisions he made in his life?”
This is not to gauge I’m leading an ideal or a more charmed existence. My brother couldn’t have said it better through his assessment, “at least I wouldn’t be alone at old age.” Still, he’s constantly upset and regularly feels he’s getting the short end of the stick.
I’ve been well aware my future is bleak. I stuck with my decision, nonetheless, to remain single. Which, I believe, is better than ending up with a partner who couldn’t make me happy and who’d eventually become a burden.
My father appraised me for being mindful of what’s good for myself and what’s not. Even so, he got concerned I’d have no one in my sunset years and told me, “Get someone, accept anyone. Even a tricycle driver.”
“Papa naman,,,” was my reply (in Tagalog).
Take note my lack of discipline during the times I was in a relationship. Can’t count the number of times I lost control. How mortified I felt for my deeds in the name of love. That could be one of the major reasons I was able to stay away from the complexities of romantic liaisons in my actual existence here. Save for the burn out, no man around seems interesting anymore.
I’d rather fly solo than take the journey with just anyone. A concept not easily understood by many. I had always been determined to claim this precious period where I could delight in my prerogatives and relish the privileges I still carry.
I consider myself that much disciplined.
miss my weekend strolls.
Bohemian Sentiments 