Repercussions To Be Expected

With my last piece, I chose to risk losing all my male blog pals for the slim chance my message would reach the consciousness of even a sole female in our blogosphere. I am tired of filtering out my words here so as not to slight my supposed buddies in any way. But the truth remains cultivating online friendship was not what I originally came here for. It would make me much happier using this medium as ground for expressing what’s on my mind – including the views I’ve held on for several years.

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What was surprising was the dissenting assault that came from a mother in her early 30s, who not once did pay attention to my blog and who I tried to be nice to because, like me, she has had very few followers. Now I know she would dip her toes here – only if she could pounce on something and flex her belligerent disposition. The sharp sting in her particular post is in accordance with the sharp features of her face anyway. Methinks her reaction signifies her marriage sucks and there’s very little she can do about it. Absurd as it was, she even implicated my recent loss and family tragedy as instrumental to my post that dealt with my sensitive views about men and women. What’s the connection? Her comprehension must have gotten misplaced, most probably.

My message for you, married lady with kids: Since you’re younger than me (which translates to the reality I’ve learned nothing from your blog), and your English and writing competence not a bit impressive (to think that you are white), and you haven’t really said anything worthwhile on your site (it does little whether your name is Amy or Nasty btw), you are best advised to spew your vitriol here than doing it at “Your Place” as I don’t intend to click open your blog anymore. Rest assured, I’ll publish your comments and we can have an exchange of perspectives, if necessary.

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If there was any apology to be offered by me, it could only be for the one who served as the locomotive for my previous post. I’m sure she wouldn’t be pleased if she knew the inspiration for that article germinated from reading her pages. My only point then was: if a beautiful, accomplished, well-experienced, talented, single woman would give that whole lot of unnecessary power to men over her life, what chance do average women like me have in gaining or maintaining some respect from the male readers of our blogging world? And where else could the rest of us find fitting role models who’d refuse to let men emotionally monopolize their lives? It’s crystal clear men have needed women more than women needed men, yet the majority of us gals, in comparison, are on emotional overkill just to earn the presence of some dude in our lives.

Maybe I had been guilty of the same deed, too. I couldn’t really tell. But I’m willing to mend my ways, if need be, and try harder to manage singlehood with more dignity. Maybe we could raise awareness for the benefit of the younger ladies who have every right to compel the guys in their lives to treat them better.

Prostitution, gender bias, and other discrimination issues have long been plaguing our role as the other half of humanity on this planet. Perhaps the least we could do is start shaping the minds of the younger generation that females are not as helpless, or dependent on male validation the way we always think we are.

There is hope for that, I believe.

The Satirical Hard Facts About Being Single (Strictly For Ladies Only)

Whenever my memory pokes to remind me of my naive self in my 20s, I get a strong urge to hop on any time machine available to be able to hunt down the younger me from years back – and give her a couple of large slaps on each cheek so that she may wake up to her senses when it comes to dealing with the affairs of the heart.

Reading some single ladies – both young and old, including highly intelligent ones – blog about romantic love or lack of it in their lives these days makes me cringe and wonder if I had sounded that much asinine myself in the annals of this site. After all, this blog has been serving as my diary and memoir – where a huge lack of shame on my part must be exercised to target its purpose.

It’s impossible to chronicle my romantic past without somehow indulging in a moderate degree of male bashing here. It is something I have evaded for too long as there are a few male blog pals who have become dear to my heart; each of them earning a special place in my blogging world in distinctive ways. Basically, I like men as friends and as the opposite sex. But I need to set that fact aside in writing something like this for the enlightenment, hopefully, of women my kind. A blog buddy has given his blessings for me to go ahead. So if any of my other male pals comes across this post, may they have the better sense to skip reading and turn away. This piece is dedicated exclusively for female readers – the single ones to be precise.

I wish all single ladies, young and old, feel this way.

Listen, my dear ladies: Once you’ve reached your forties, you will make a fool of yourself if you treat the search for a good man a serious matter. When you begin approaching middle-age, a nice-looking single guy with good character and good intentions is already impossible to find. It’s not your fault. Blame it on the globe’s oversupply of our gender species. Now in case you attempt to make it with a dude younger than you – it’s gonna be pointless still. Unless your intention is pure torrid sex and lotsa fun. Men generally think in the “What’s in it for me?” mode. They are naturally inclined that way. As a result, we women will be a never-ending subject for exploitation and humiliation – if we don’t watch it. On the other hand, if you go for an older guy, well… I doubt a man your age or your senior will take an interested glance your direction by reason of your (maturing) good looks. You see, older men could only itch for girls young enough to be their daughters. Again, it’s their natural inclination. Just like when they glue themselves much into free porn and are busy subscribing to sites that exhibit very young poor girls from all over the world taking their clothes off online. If you’re a wife to one of them, you might ask, “What’s become of my role, then?” Not to worry, you still get the “honor” of being your husband’s caretaker in his twilight years. FYI: Why do ya think Japanese wives are in a hustle to divorce their husbands once retirement years come around? Simple. To claim both their freedom and the money from their pervert mates. Clever Asian gals, huh.

Others will advise you “Don’t lose hope. Keep on searching for the frog. For your Prince, I mean.” That is mighty old school. I say, let it go if it’s not meant to be. Let your rational mind rule your heart. You deserve the best things this planet can offer – including a True Love or The Real One meant for you. Not just anything and anyone. You don’t need to waste your precious time… nor your precious heart repeatedly.

Look, ladies, I do believe in soulmates. How else can you explain the few cases of undying commitment and amour (with lust) between a couple like Prince Charles and Camilla, Sting and Trudie Styler, John Lennon and Yoko Ono, Paul and Linda McCartney, etc. They definitely have what most other couples don’t have. Unions other than theirs are either based on fleeting attraction or pragmatic matters which require a lot of hard work for continuity. If you’ve really found the right one for you, Congrats. If not, ask yourself these questions: Don’t you have better things to do than settle for less than the real thing? Do you really need just any “distraction” to get you through life?

Remember as well: If it isn’t written in the cards for you to grow old with a man, no amount of whining and seductive verses on your blog can alter your single status. I mean, c’mon… Sure such verbal stunts tickle the dirty fantasies of your male readers. But that’s all. You still are plain entertainment, in their POV.

We can always choose to release ourselves from the bondage of vain hopes and the disappointment of unmet expectations. Don’t forget how blessed a woman is if she doesn’t take for granted the many things she actually enjoys on her solo flight such as her family & friends, her job, her hobbies, her freedom, her independence, and her sanity. If I hadn’t suffered the severest blow of my whole existence earlier this year, you’d still find me on my knees counting my lucky stars above. Life is awesomely beautiful, with or without a man on your side.

I swear that when I reach my 50s, which is some few years from now, I’ll be totally holding my peace about singlehood and go commit myself to the nunnery. Until then, let’s all try harder to be dignified about this “not having a man” thing. Do we have a deal, single ladies out there?

I remember a certain children’s song from my childhood: “Calm down, Sit down, Stop rocking the boat.” Aah, wrong lyrics. But you get the message, I’m sure.